The Book I’m Meant to Write

As I was searching around the internet tonight, I came across an interview with Stephenie Meyer, the author the Twilight saga, where she talked about writing these books. One thing that really stuck with me is how she wrote the books almost as fast as we (the fans) devour them because she wants to know the ending just as badly as we do. It made me realize that I’ve never really felt that way.

Now that I’ve got a novel under my belt, I know two things: I can write and I will keep writing. This, of course, makes me think about my writing future and what’s in store for me. As I’m going through and editing my first novel, I know for sure now that this is just a starter novel for me. That’s all I ever intended it to be, really, so it’s no disappointment and I’m happy to use this novel as a learning tool to build my skills as a writer for when I finally do come across that “it” idea.

But I would love to feel what Meyer felt as she wrote her books. I know that I’m still a young writer and I have plenty of years ahead of me for things like this but I’ll never get there if I don’t plan for that type of success in writing. Unfortunately, part of me fears that I’ll never come across that idea–the one that sucks me in so much that I literally can’t stop my fingers from typing it out. For someone like me who thrives on uniqueness, it kills me to know that almost everything has been done already. It might not be exactly the way I would do it, or exactly the style I would write it, but it’s been done. No exceptions. And if I can’t find that unique idea, will I be doomed to write laboriously for the rest of my life?

There’s a quote that says, “Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write.” To be honest, this quote scares me to death! I cannot live without writing, sure, but is there truly something out there that only I can write, that no one could possibly do justice but me? I’m sure if I came across that idea, the one only I could put into words, it would be the one thing that I couldn’t put down…but will I?

I think the only thing that gives me solace when these fears creep into my mind is the motivation that Jodi Picoult gave me when it came to researching. I know that at this point in my life there is so much I don’t know and it’s that lack of knowledge that makes me scared about not having a topic that only I can write so the more I learn through research and through just living my life, the closer I come to finding that beautiful, little morsel that will become the book I’m meant to write. I strive to stay positive and know that one day it will come and in the meantime, all I can do is keep savoring each new piece of knowledge and keep writing.